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Building a Village

Four years ago, I embarked on a journey to unlock something inside of myself that felt buried under a pile of rubble. On a whim, I signed up for an online course designed to help me unearth the dreams I had locked inside of me. Optimistic but slightly skeptical, I plunged headfirst into a four-week dream scavenge. Many in the course had lofty dreams of writing a book or starting a small business. My goal, the thing I wanted most for myself, was to have friends. Sure, I had plenty of acquaintances. I interacted with wonderful people on a regular basis, but when it came to true vulnerability and allowing others to see who I really was at my core, I was locked up and that door was deadbolted. Going through that course and tackling my “dream” by coming up with real ways to build community in my life kickstarted some real changes for me and liberated a newfound confidence in me. I decided I’d create a book club and invited several people to join it, knowing full well that I lacked the leadership skills required for running a group and acknowledging that it was possible that no one would say yes. To my surprise, 9 people said yes and for a year we had a successful book club, leading to many sweet friendships. Through book club, I met Sowmya (who is joy in the form of a person!), and she encouraged me to try out for the international choir she was a part of (WAY out of my comfort zone!), and through choir I became part of a multigenerational, multicultural book club that read and discussed books that explored race, culture, religion, and tradition…which led to even more connections and friendships. Sometimes we stay small because we think our dreams are too big or unattainable. I’d sat in my house for years wishing I had friends, but never really doing anything about it. All it took was taking one small step, and that one step snowballed into something bigger than I ever could have imagined. 

 

 It was a few months after that course that I met my best friend. Feeling newly confident, I asked her out to coffee and we became instant friends. Now, I can’t imagine a day without her. She is my:

-Confidant 

-Early morning encourager 

-Stress reliever 

-Comic relief 

-Preparer of exotic foods (Yes beets are exotic)

-Teacher of all things dealing with woodworking and cooking and business and health/exercise and I could go on and on…

-Spiritual supporter

-Mental health stabilizer 

-Workout accountability partner 

-Ultimate cheerleader

-Inspirational life coach

-Skin care guru

-Saturday morning walking buddy/coffee date

-Spontaneity motivator 

-Rescuer in awkward social situations 

-Prayer partner

-Shoulder to lean on 

-Truth discerner

-First text in the morning and the last one at night 

-Best friend

 

I’m more complete as a person because of the community I have around me now. It all started because I said yes to doing something for myself, and then followed through by taking the first step to put my “dream” in motion. Starting a book club and inviting people to get to know me on a deeper level allowed me to experience vulnerability in a new way, and helped me to gain the confidence needed to create opportunities for meaningful relationships to develop. And then in walked Grace at just the right time and my life is forever changed because of her and her constant love, support, and friendship. 





This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "With a Little Help".







 


 

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